Seducing Severus Snape
by leah-chan
Summary: "Mr. Weasley are you trying to seduce me?" (Second in the Best Laid Plans universe, Snape/Ron)


Proof that "Ask and Ye Shall Recieve", the erm during-quel to to "Sacrificial Lamb". (Happens in the blank space, basically) I *was* going to include it in the first story, but it just didn't flow right, and well, I like splicing the talk with the action... Anyway, this is Snape and a Student, but the student's over the legal age of consent, and *he's* the one throwing himself at the adult, so, um I don't think this will provoke the recent discussion about that kind of thing. Well, er, read!  
  
  
Seducing Severus Snape -or- "Mr. Weasley, are you trying to seduce me?"  
  
"Deep breath. Remember, you're not doing this for yourself," He cringed slightly, his hand pausing right above the doorknob in front of him, "you're doing this for everyone." His fingers brushed the metal, only to have him pull his hand as if there were an electrical current running through the handle. "And this little mid-hallway pep-talk really isn't helping." He sighed, hitting his head in frustration. "Dammit Ron, you can do this!"  
  
He paused once more, seriously contemplating what lay on the other side of the heavy wooden door, then shook his head violently. "No - no I can't!" However, before he could bolt away like the scared deer he was beginning to think he was, the door swung open of seemingly of its own accord.  
  
"Weasley." Snape's voice snapped when he saw the panic-stricken boy at his doorway. "Yes?"  
  
"Huh?" Ron blinked repeatedly.  
  
"What do you want?" Snape snarled.  
  
"Oh yeah... *That*..."  
  
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"Simply jump him." Harry said bluntly. "When you see him, launch yourself at him. Worked for me and Draco..." He smirked. That detention had been *fun*.  
  
"Boys." Hermione sighed, superiority eminent in her tone of voice. "It should be romantic. You know, candles, music, mulled mead, handcuffs..."  
  
"HANDCUFFS?" Ron squeaked so high it was almost inaudible.  
  
"Or whips and chains, take your pick. But shush now, people are staring." She quickly clamped her hand over Ron's mouth and smiled apologetically to the other people present in the common room.  
  
"I'm beginning to think that I *do* want to know what you do with Ginny..." Harry's eyes gleamed wickedly as Ron went pale.  
  
"That's my *sister* you're talking about!"  
  
"Where'd you get the handcuffs?" Harry asked, completely ignoring Ron's outburst.  
  
"Cho accidentally left them... I forgot to return them, and *then* I found out that she was cheating on me with Lavender. I figured she owed me *something*."  
  
"Cho?" It was Harry's turn to squeak.  
  
"What can I say - she had a whole bondage thing going. Not that I think that'd work for Snape, or anything."  
  
"It might." Harry looked much too hopeful. Ron felt the residual fear creep back into the pit of his stomach.  
  
"Anyway, I think I left my pair in the prefect's bathroom, so - you'll have to borrow Neville's." Hermione reasoned.  
  
"Alright, Neville's - wait a minute. If Neville had - that means that Percy - and I really, really don't want to think about that." Ron shuddered. Learning of the sexual exploits of his siblings from his friends was seriously creeping him out.  
  
"At least it's not as bad as what I heard Fred and Ge-" Harry started.  
  
"No! I don't want to hear it! Or anything about Bill or Charlie either!"  
  
"Then you don't want-"  
  
"No!"  
  
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"I need some help with that potion we were working on in class today. You know, the one with the Muggle whipped topping?" He fidgeted nervously with the handcuffs that were safely stored in his robe pocket, right next to the -ahem- *other* necessities that Neville was far too eager to provide him with.  
  
"Why? You're friends with Miss Granger - why couldn't she just help you?" Snape pivoted on his right foot and swished into the classroom with Ron close on his heels.  
  
"No going back now..." Ron muttered under his breath.  
  
"What?"  
  
"No time - she's - um - busy." He blushed. /Why the hell am I blushing?/ He mentally kicked himself as he started setting up his cauldron.  
  
"Fine then. Here." The cranky Slytherin Head handed him a can of Reddi Whip before he went back to sitting at his desk and grading papers. "Start. When you mess up, tell me."  
  
/Oh yeah... This is going *real* well.../  
  
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"Wait! No! I've got it!" Hermione squealed in a very un-Hermione voice. "You go to him for help with the potion we did today in class-"  
  
"Why can't I just ask you?"  
  
"You'll think of that later. Anyway, you go to him for help with the part that involves the Reddi Whip..." She continued, unfazed. Ron really didn't like the way this train of thought was going.  
  
"Hermione, do you know how to operate a video camera?" Harry asked out of the blue.  
  
"No - why?"  
  
"I'm beginning to think that I could make a *lot* of money off of you and Ginny... Magic, handcuffs, whipped topping..." Harry smirked in such a way that you could practically *see* the Galleon signs in his eyes. Hermione decided to simply roll her eyes and smack him upside the head before turning back to her conversation with Ron.  
  
"Use the Reddi Whip to your advantage!"  
  
"What? - How? - Why?" Was the sputtered reply from the very put-out redhead.  
  
"Come on, you've agreed to this, remember?" said Harry, straight-faced.  
  
"I know... I know..." Ron sighed heavily as he turned his head once more towards the over-eager Hermione.  
  
"Now, what you're going to do is this..."  
  
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/Steady, steady/ Ron held the red-and-white canister in his right hand as he began to shake it uncertainly. /Think of what Harry'd say if you chickened out.../ He shuddered. /Here goes nothing./  
  
With a calculated flick of his wrist and applied pressure to the pointed nozzle, Ron sent whipped topping flying. Most of it landing directly on Snape. His desk, his robes, his face, his hair, everything. Ron gulped audibly.  
  
"Oops." He cringed. Snape had a look on his face that Ron read as a cross between 'wrath-of-God' fury and utmost loathing. /Great, just great./  
  
"Weasley." Snape's deadly voice rang through the silent dungeon with amazing clarity. "What have you done?" It wasn't really a question. At that point, taking Snape's tone into account, it was more of a threat.  
  
"I'm so sorry Professor... Here, let me help you clean that up." Ron made his way quickly to where the acrimonious instructor was now standing.  
  
"Come now, Weasley. Anything you'd do now would only make it worse." Snape glared a glare that could cut glass. Ron simply smiled apologetically and conjured a roll of paper towels, which he proceeded to use to wipe his grouchy Potions master off with.  
  
/Alright Ron - it's now or never. Remember what Hermione told you./ Although he doubted what worked on his little sister would work on Snape... but who knew? Anything's worth trying twice.  
  
So, Ron Weasley, upon finishing toweling off the almost-Chemistry-teacher's robes, licked some of the fluff off of Snape's cheek.  
  
"Weasley! You don't have to-" He was cut off sharply by the fact that Ron had now moved on to simply kissing Snape on the lips.  
  
/This isn't working! This is NOT working! I'm going to KILL her! This -/ All other thoughts Ron may have had were cut off by the fact that Snape was responding to his kiss.  
  
And he was beginning to like it.  
  
"And that was for..?" Snape panted as they broke apart.  
  
You looked like you needed it." Ron grinned, realizing that Snape's arms were around him. That and the fact that they were slowly drawing him nearer to the Slytherin Head.  
  
"Pray tell, what *else* do you think I need?" Snape said with a hint of - amusement?  
  
"A hell of a lot more than just a kiss... But everyone's got to start somewhere." With that, Ron launched himself once more at his steadily-becoming-favorite-teacher.  
  
What felt like hours (but in actuality was only 10 or so minutes) later, Ron pulled back again, face flushed, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Come now, Professor," he said wickedly, "let's get you out of those wet clothes..."  
  
-owari-  



End file.
